Men of Honour

The Hasbarafia should not be confused with other simple, harmless souls that may at first appear much the same. There are plenty of sincere people who will not acknowledge any moral or political defects in the State of Israel and with whom it is pointless engaging. The Hasbarafia are distinguishable from these people by their concerted and persistent mission to shut down any debate by the employment of a basket of nefarious tactics and strategies. The Hasbarafia are would be ENFORCERS..

The first requirement if you are a “would be” Hasbarafioso is that you must HATE.  As an absolute minimum you must hate Islam and Muslims. You should be ok on this one since if you are even considering initiation you almost certainly do. Then you will need to hate those that don’t hate Muslims and Islam and/or is given to opinions about the State of Israel that fall short of eulogistic. Again I don’t foresee too much difficulty here..

Your most intense hatred, of course, will be for the “renegade Jews”. The asaJews, the self-hating ashamed Jews.  The Jews that see the existentially disastrous consequences of the maintenance of the brutal, illegal occupation and call for its end.  You might feel a little uncomfortable with this bit at first but you will soon get the hang of it. Ideally you should read Howard Jacobson’s “The Finkler Question”.  On second thoughts, this clever, nuanced work will go right over your head.  Better to just skim read it until you get to where he uses the expression “ashamed Jew” so that when your fellow Hasbarafiosi refer to it, you will know what they are talking about.  Jacobson seems to have been adopted as a kind of spiritual leader.  It is not known how he feels about this.  My best guess is that he can live with it.  Lest we forget: “Being critical of Israel doesn’t mean you are anti-Semitic. It just so happens that you are.”.

Having got the hate thing sorted, you are now ready to dispense with any semblance of self respect you may have been harbouring, and all integrity and intellectual honesty.  You won’t be needing any of that stuff. You have chosen a life of mendacious dissembling and an endless diet of lies, misrepresentations and smears. This seamlessly takes you on to the road of becoming a committed VENDETTA addict and aficionado.  You are expected to enthusiastically promote the brotherhood’s vendettas and to run a few frolics of your own alongside. To get some respect in the brotherhood you will need to get a few scalps.  Destroying someone’s position and influence in the community is good.  But much better is destroying some ones livelihood and getting them dismissed from a much loved job.  A good start would be to equip yourself with a comprehensive list of Church of England vicars..

You will have learned by now that natural language and the meaning of words as understood by ordinary speakers of the language is often highly inconvenient.  So you need to quit speaking English or German or Hebrew or whatever is your native natural language.  You then have to adopt the artificial private language of the brotherhood and enter a realm in which concepts bear no relation to THE concepts as understood by the ordinary speakers of the natural language.

The key concept in the natural language that has to be privatised is that of “anti-Semitism”.  So throw away your dictionaries.  Forget what Jack and Jill on the Clapham omnibus mean by the expression.  The meaning and force of the expression is no longer the aggregate force of the uses of the expression. The meaning and force is established by STIPULATION.  It means what the Men of Honour stipulate that it means.

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It gets even better.  In the brotherhood, there are no Popes or Archbishops or Chief Rabbis, so Men of Honour have some leeway.  The brotherhood stipulations are templates to guide you.  You are able to tweak the received stipulations on a daily basis according to circumstances.  In other words you can have your own private language within the private language of the brotherhood.  You are free to make up your own drivel as you go along.  So you can have as much or as little anti-Semitism as you want, at any time that you want, according to how energetically engaged you are feeling.  It’s a private language remember.  It’s the “new anti-Semitism”.  If you are having a bad day and despite your total conceptual freedom, even you are struggling to find anti-Semitism, remember there is always something called “anti-Semitic tropes”.  They are not as good as anti-Semitism, but are better than a blank day.

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Having said all this, you will need to memorise a brotherhood approved default stipulation, if only for practical purposes. This will be your primary blunt instrument with which you will bully, blackmail and intimidate.  If you don’t know where to look, might I recommend the EUMC working “definition “/ Ottawa Protocol absurdity.  If you are uncomfortable with absurdity, the Hasbarafia is not for you..

You will, of course, be aware that you cannot be fussy about the company you keep, and of the importance of alliances with any scum that are, however fleetingly, singing from the same hymn sheets as you on the relevant points.  The EDL are usually happy to make themselves available especially to help you beef up the numbers at your demos.  They are wholly unable to resist a good Muslim hate fest..

Having made satisfactory progress in acquiring the necessary skills you now need to get yourself a home or several.  There is no need to ever feel lonely.  Just like soccer ultras, the Hasbarafia have favourite pubs but in this case, virtual ones.  They are popularly known as racist cesspit blog spots.  Choose a few, visit and comment frequently and get yourself known.  Over time, you may get to be a guest blogger on the daddy of them all, Harry’s Place.  This is important for several reasons.  Firstly, affirmation.  You will need continual reassurance by being in the company of similar fruit loops.  Secondly, this will enable you to keep up with the ever evolving Hasbarafia private language.  You don’t want people saying “Hell, Jonny, that is sooooo 2010”.   Not least, these are the media through which the all important vendettas are coordinated.

Eventually you might get your own blog spot or be invited by Stephen Pollard to be “a specially invited blogger” and afforded the privilege of spilling your bile on the JC blog site, if Mr. Pollard feels that Jonathan Hoffman is getting a bit tattered and battered and worn, or if he feels Hoffie just needs a bit of back up.  You will then find yourself with the facility to cross-post and to be cross posted.

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Remember if you become a guest blogger or start your own blog, credibility is everything. You will be saying all kinds of crazy stuff and this stuff must be EVIDENCED.  You will deal with this inconvenience by citing and linking to the favourite pubs of other Hasbarafiosi.  One notorious, if dim witted, Hasbarafioso has so perfected this art that he often evidences his rantings by linking us to his OWN previous rantings.  Hardly any one seems to notice.  This takes experience, don’t attempt it too soon.  It is for you to decide where you make your home(s), but to kick start you, you might take a look at Harry’s Place (recommended by the EDL), Elder of Zyon, CifWatch and Richard Millet’s blog.

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It is vital to your success that you don’t leave your progress to chance.  It must be continually monitored and measured.  So you are going to need a Role Model.  Here he is:    

Be warned, life as a Hasbarafioso is not entirely without anxiety.   Be sure to NEVER miss an opportunity to scream anti-Semites at someone or you may find a severed horse’s head on your pillow.

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If it works for the Board of Deputies, it’ll work for us.  ~Editor