Men of Honour
The Hasbarafia should not be confused with other simple, harmless souls that may at first appear much the same. There are plenty of sincere people who will not acknowledge any moral or political defects in the State of Israel and with whom it is pointless engaging. The Hasbarafia are distinguishable from these people by their concerted and persistent mission to shut down any debate by the employment of a basket of nefarious tactics and strategies. The Hasbarafia are would be ENFORCERS..
The first requirement if you are a “would be” Hasbarafioso is that you must HATE. As an absolute minimum you must hate Islam and Muslims. You should be ok on this one since if you are even considering initiation you almost certainly do. Then you will need to hate those that don’t hate Muslims and Islam and/or is given to opinions about the State of Israel that fall short of eulogistic. Again I don’t foresee too much difficulty here..
Your most intense hatred, of course, will be for the “renegade Jews”. The asaJews, the self-hating ashamed Jews. The Jews that see the existentially disastrous consequences of the maintenance of the brutal, illegal occupation and call for its end. You might feel a little uncomfortable with this bit at first but you will soon get the hang of it. Ideally you should read Howard Jacobson’s “The Finkler Question”. On second thoughts, this clever, nuanced work will go right over your head. Better to just skim read it until you get to where he uses the expression “ashamed Jew” so that when your fellow Hasbarafiosi refer to it, you will know what they are talking about. Jacobson seems to have been adopted as a kind of spiritual leader. It is not known how he feels about this. My best guess is that he can live with it. Lest we forget: “Being critical of Israel doesn’t mean you are anti-Semitic. It just so happens that you are.”.
Having got the hate thing sorted, you are now ready to dispense with any semblance of self respect you may have been harbouring, and all integrity and intellectual honesty. You won’t be needing any of that stuff. You have chosen a life of mendacious dissembling and an endless diet of lies, misrepresentations and smears. This seamlessly takes you on to the road of becoming a committed VENDETTA addict and aficionado. You are expected to enthusiastically promote the brotherhood’s vendettas and to run a few frolics of your own alongside. To get some respect in the brotherhood you will need to get a few scalps. Destroying someone’s position and influence in the community is good. But much better is destroying some ones livelihood and getting them dismissed from a much loved job. A good start would be to equip yourself with a comprehensive list of Church of England vicars..
You will, of course, be aware that you cannot be fussy about the company you keep, and of the importance of alliances with any scum that are, however fleetingly, singing from the same hymn sheets as you on the relevant points. The EDL are usually happy to make themselves available especially to help you beef up the numbers at your demos. They are wholly unable to resist a good Muslim hate fest..
Having made satisfactory progress in acquiring the necessary skills you now need to get yourself a home or several. There is no need to ever feel lonely. Just like soccer ultras, the Hasbarafia have favourite pubs but in this case, virtual ones. They are popularly known as racist cesspit blog spots. Choose a few, visit and comment frequently and get yourself known. Over time, you may get to be a guest blogger on the daddy of them all, Harry’s Place. This is important for several reasons. Firstly, affirmation. You will need continual reassurance by being in the company of similar fruit loops. Secondly, this will enable you to keep up with the ever evolving Hasbarafia private language. You don’t want people saying “Hell, Jonny, that is sooooo 2010”. Not least, these are the media through which the all important vendettas are coordinated.
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If it works for the Board of Deputies, it’ll work for us. ~Editor