FUCU Déjà vu
Learning nothing from the FUCU disaster, is the Board of Deputies hell bent on topping it? While Jonathan Arkush would love to cut his losses and quit his pursuance of Stephen Sizer, he’s unable to do so because of the nut job Deputies he would have to answer to. As Chair of the Defense Division, he’s had to witness the creation and implementation of a code of conduct designed specifically for most of the other Deputies he chairs. We sincerely hope that this will go all the way to a tribunal hearing and that the hearing is public. What fun it will be watching and hearing them being cross examined on:
Hopefully Arkush will be represented pro bono by Anthony Julius, who presumably will have learned from the FUCU case that if 34 histionic witnesses didn’t do the trick, maybe 1034 will. We strongly recomment that Mr. Arkush have his personal doctor nearby during the proceedings, given the high probability he will “feel ill” again.
Potential highlights: Seeing Jonathan Hoffman taking the oath “I swear by almighty God, that if I lie, I will apologise.” Watching Jeremy Newmark shrug his shoulders and saying “When you’ve purjured yourself once, the next time is easy”. Jerry Lewis demanding that the President of the tribunal “resign now!!!!”, and Vivian Wineman leaping to his feet demanding “Order!, Order!” Mick Davis tweeting from the public gallery: “When we complete our takeover of the BoD, we will put an end to all of this nonesense. (Newmark is a bit of a problem, though. It will cost us a bundle to do a “Jon Benjamin” on him. It probably will be cheaper to pay him a bit more on the understanding that he shuts the fuck up.) I know that ordinarily mere mortals are only allowed 149 characters, but I AM MICK DAVIS” David Hirsh turning what might have been a half hour hearing into a 3 month job. Sadly, it is unlikely that the Board of Deputies’ new code of conduct installed for the sole benefit of Hoffman and Jerry Lewis, will apply in an ecclesiastic tribunal. Worryingly, all this fun might be nipped in the bud if one of them can find the brains to seek the advice in advance of Jonathan Goldberg, because undoubtedly, Goldberg will get it right again. Goldberg Gets It Right